To the people I love...

I would like to thank you for being there for me whenever I needed you. And for still being here. You have seen me go through a lot of changes, good and bad, and it is finally clear to me that the outcome is good.

I can feel my heart beat. I can scream my lungs out. I can read both on and in between the lines. I can reflect on my life and still feel good. Acknowledge the fact that I am no longer holding on to it, but living it. My eyes may have taken some damage along the way, but the fact that I now wear glasses, does not mean that I am not seeing things clearly. I am, more than ever actually.

I hold a special place in my heart to the people that were kind enough to let me go, wheter or not it happened with their intention of doing so. I have loved you once, and learned a lot from you. There is no "wrong time". There is just time. So if you, like me, got hurt on some oocasions, be grateful that you did. I am not saying we should embrace only sad things, we should embrace everything. Might be a well used cliché, but it is true. Everything happens for a reason.

Take me for instance. I used to tread water. Now I swim for fun. But I know that I owe that to my life. All the things that has happened, good and bad. And from where I stand today, I cannot really say that I have made many mistakes. I have made choices.

So, to all the boys that broke my heart and nearly crushed my will to live, for various amounts of time. I owe a little of my life today to you. I want to thank you for loving me, and for letting me go at just the right time. Today I love my self more than I ever loved one of you, and for that, I needed you. You made me stronger, wiser, and helped me learn how to swim.

And to the boys that I myself broke the hearts of, I am sorry. But I cannot say that I regret. Because I ended up here, today. And I am in a thankful place, with a strong heart and a body that cooperates with my mind. I listen to my own voice, follow my own heart, and I can finally breathe again.

I am now being honest to my self. In order to do that, I have to be honest to my heart. I have dug layers of crap on the way down to my heart. It has been covered by lies, misconception and sorrow for a long time. Now, it unravels to me in all it's beauty. Every day I wake up and become a little lighter. Each night I go to sleep a bit easier.

I never knew it would be so difficult to live this life. But since it has been just that, I have come to appreciate it more. I am so happy that I get to live and tell, and to skyrocket my soul even higher. To some, I am sure it may appear like I have my head in the clouds, but acually I am more grounded than ever. I know what is important to ME. That is what i call key knowledge in this life I live. Until you learn that, nothing else can really matter. Or it may matter too much.

Word of advice: Stick with yourself, be your own best friend, and act in ways you can stand for. You cannot change life with someone, nor your body, so deal with it the best possible way. Give yourself a hug and excel. I know I don't want to have regrets when my time comes, so I will try to live it every day. Do you want to lose time, or spend time?

2011.words.

.balance .love .serenity .joy .power .acting .hope .achievements .desire .air .dive .float .speak .enjoy .see .listen .express .commit .do .be .laughter .sunshine .soulful .singing .dancing .willingly .respect .change .smoothly .escape .comeback .inspire .classic .new .movement .stagefighting .lovemaking .dreams .always .never .healthy .business .crush .overcome .image .spirit .up .forward .trickster .wanting .more .shakespeare .candlelights .garden .ricelamps .wind .breathe .feel .devour .scream .light .meaning .shock .craving .buddha .chocolate .fog .coffee .blinking .raindrop .look .take .share .give .make .happy .receive .yo .fantastic .silver .mirror .pictures .france .l'amour .orange .flowers .blueskies .pour .heavy .feather .fireplace .cocoa .organize .structure .freedom .fly .blossom .sleep .awaken .peace .savour .lust .charcoal .purple .paint .save .rid .horses .britain .atlantis .bergen .fur .marshmallows .memorize .swim .camp .throw .cat .draw .fence .ride .live

Rise and rise again, until lambs become lions.

2011.

The year for success.

A year in my name.

I'm on a roll, and no thing can stop me now. Why did I wait so long? Well, I had to learn how to keep my feet grounded and at the same time spread my wings. At first I learned the lesson of dis-appearing. Falling. The feeling of being grounded. The punishing kind. Was never meant to be a joyful lesson, but I did'nt know that. I just fell. Hard.

Second I had to learn how to rise again. Look to the horizon. Just opening my eyes was painful. The haze of sedation that had covered me for so long, had to be driven away. That was maybe the hardest part of all. Rising. Falling was the easy part. Luckily I had friends and family that never went tired of me, not entirely at least. It can be a tough job to kick someone elses ass, while they seemingly lie down. But, as I now know, you've got to have drive to get somewhere. And if you don't have it, someone else is going to have to kick your ass until you put the stick in drive yourself. Let them. It's an exellent opportunity to learn how to get your ass in gear. You've probably just sat on it for a while anyway. Acknowledge it's time to reboot.

Maren 2.0

Trust me, it's the newest and best version of me. I am on my way, but I still haven't found what I'm looking for. I've found pieces of it, but far from all. The thrill is in the hunt, right? Spoken by a true Sagittarius. Catch me if you can, and all that. It's all true.

As I am regaining my true nature, I rediscover a lot of things I have always known to be true. From I was a little girl, I have seen the world through a special lense. For some time the lense was covered, but now fractures of the very me shows up. I have a lot of exiting discoveries these days, and as I uncover my self, I recover the person I have always been. You can hide your spirit for years, but it is always ready to be found again. And when you do, you can literally feel your heart burst into joy. It's a symphony right there inside of you. Finally listening to it, I recognize my true self. The person I'm meant to be. The light. A beautiful lamp shouldn't be hidden under a blanket, right?



The resolution I am going to make for 2011 is this:

Follow your heart.

If you manage to do that, then everything else will fall into place. At least that's what I've found to be true. If you really listen to your inner voice, you will always find an answer. Usually the right one as well. And if it's not, then it was either based on fear or it was never meant to be.

So.

2011.

Let the games begin.